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7月18日

The world according to me

Television is not a vast wasteland. It's a vast freak show.
 
The worst thing about electricity are the commercials.
 
5 to 4 decisions should be unconstitutional. If a decision were just, it would be 9 to 0.
 
At my age it looks dangerous that we have turned the world over to a bunch of kids.
 
It was not bad that a 50-year old child molester died.
 
Polygyny would solve the problems of infidelity and divorce.
 
Some wives want a wife to do the housework.
 
The automobile industry problem is that cars don't rust out anymore.
 
The new health system will save us from bankruptcy by letting you die like we used to. 
 
When I consulted at the reform school I learned a definition of perfection is when you shoot someone right between the eyes.
 
Most of the people I know well are dead.
 
There used to be immortals. They were Jack Benny, Graucho Marx, Clark Gable, and Bing Crosby.  They weren't.