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    July 15

    AAAD Explained contributed by a patient

    This is how Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
    manifests itself:

    I decide to water my garden.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my
    car and decide my car needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail
    on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox
    earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I
    lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the
    garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is
    full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
    out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
    when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the
    bills first.

    I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is
    only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the
    study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the
    can of Coke that I had been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
    the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over

    I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
    put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head
    toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
    counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

    I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
    reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm
    going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the
    counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

    Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that
    tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the
    remote, but I won't remember t hat it's on the kitchen table
    so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
    but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it
    spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the
    table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head
    down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills
    aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the
    counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is
    still only one check in my check book, I can't find the
    remote, I can't find my glasses, I don't remember what I
    did with the car keys.

    Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
    and I'm really tired.

    I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get
    some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

    Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone
    you know, because I don't remember who I sent it to.
    did I even hit the send button?

    Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

    GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
    GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
    LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC

    July 10

    Keep Your Gene Pool Safe

    I am really glad that Becky and gang came back to the Midwest and that we all
    live in the Heartland again.  Now we should rescue other family from the Coasts.
    Becky and Greg have escaped the coming major earthquakes, Tsunamis, rising sea
    levels,  smog, forest fires, and nuclear bombs on the Left coast and are so well
    hidden that no one can even figure out their address on MapQuest. Dan and Carol
    are safe in a place no one would even bother to attack and are  far from the New
    Madrid fault.  And nobody ever heard of Batavia or Elburn.

    Reference from today's news:
    >>>It's WWIII, and U.S.is out of ideas
    Last week's headlines prove the point: North Korea fires missiles, Iran talks of
    nukes again, Iraq carnage continues, Israel invades Gaza, England observes
    one-year anniversary of subway bombing. And, oh, yes, the feds stop a plot to
    blow up tunnels under the Hudson River.    World War III has begun.<<<<